Revolution in My Pants

Revolution in My Pants

Cannot sing, cannot dance

Hey! Hey!
There's a revolution in my pants

Done with the pundits
Done with the upper class

Hey! Hey!
There's a revolution in my pants

They make free speech illegal 
They silence freedom fighter chants

Hey! Hey! 
There's a revolution in my pants

Can't get no action
When they're taking they're Nazi stance
Can't get no satisfaction

So let's have a revolution in my pants! 

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012

Poison

Poison

Why do you make me so crazy!?
You see I have seen perfection in a bottle
I have felt the tight strands of my insecurities unravel
With every sip of that golden nectar 
That makes my mind bend and head bobble

My friend, you are no friend at all

Wasting away days and nights thinking of you
Of my insatiable need to taste the bitter bite
Of a toxin that was bread by the fermentation of life
Here I sit in this chair thinking to myself…
I could solve it all by drowning in a bottle of alcohol
I could throw away all my cares and swim in bliss
Forget my symptoms, forget my past, forget my loneliness 
But most of all forget that I am a child of God

But I was meant for more in this life than to be a slave
Fighting endlessly for something I need to save
My sanity…
My sanity my friends, is no laughing matter
It is not a trifle thing, and I have in the past lost everything

I will not bow down to a liquid that has me ensnared
Like a rabid dog chasing its own tail
Like a sullen tortoise trailing a wild hare 
Forever yearning for that sweet supplication
That unearthly surrender and caustic embrace…
…that mind numbing fervor that rips apart my soul.
That which leaves sunken eyes wet on a decaying face
I should know this by now…and yes I do know
That sobriety in it’s deepest form is an affront to death
I will acknowledge my weakness…my disease to all those who hear me now

I am a drunk

Sober for days now, but who’s counting?

I may be sick…but I am not useless,
I may be weak, but I am not alone
I am human, and as such I have needs

Why I fight to understand these stages of life over which I keep tripping
I’ll never quite understand…but this I know
God made me but a man, and I’m tired of living on this island
I’m tired of searching for a mate
I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only one who can see
The ghosts of this world flying past my periphery
I have so much love to give, but sadly I cannot speak

All I can do is hide behind the words in my poetry
And hope that one day these scars will heal
And maybe teach others not to turn down in shame
When words of piety and forgiveness speak to them
In such a way that they might reach out a hand
When they are at their lowest point
Maybe then limp in their weak blindness 
Finding the hand of a friend
Reaching out to bring them back from the sickness
From the poison…that binds us.

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012

Adam's Pina Colada Malibu Pie

Adam's Pina Colada Malibu Pie

1 ready to bake pie crust (in foil pan)
1 package coconut pudding mix (cook n serve kind)
1  1/4 cup half and half
1/4 cup Malibu coconut rum 
1 can pineapple tidbits
1/4 cup pineapple juice (from can of pineapple)

1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream
2 tbsp powdered sugar
1 teaspoon coconut extract

1/2 cup shredded coconut
1/4 cup sliced almonds


Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Poke holes in pie crust with fork, and bake in oven for 25 minutes until crust is golden brown.

Mix half and half, coconut rum, and pineapple juice from can and pour into a cooking pot. Heat liquid mixture on medium heat until it starts to boil. Slowly add coconut pudding mix with one hand while whisking quickly with the other hand. Whisk until mix is incorporated into liquids. Mix constantly on low heat until pudding thickens and begins boiling again. Pour pudding into pre-baked crust, cover tightly in saran wrap, and let cool in the fridge while you make the whipped cream.

Using the wire whisk attachment on your stand up mixer, mix heavy whipping cream, powder sugar, and coconut extract on high until cream has thickened and creates peaks that stand up on their own. 

In a small skillet, heat shredded coconut and almonds on low and quickly toss and stir mixture until golden brown.

Once the pie has cooled, and pudding mixture has thickened, scatter pineapple tidbits all over pudding pie, then top with whipped cream, and toasted coconut/almonds. Serves 8

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012

Morning Prayer

Morning Prayer

I am filled with joy

At the work we do when our hands come together
And raise the banners of human decency

I am filled with wonder

When I see the unkempt smiling brightly
In many layers to stave off the cold air

I am filled with sadness

When another one of my family degenerates
Into a babbling brook...mind swept away by a plague

I am filled with shame

When my mind slips away to join my kin's
I feel like I'm not alone when we share horror stories

I am filled with pride

When I can lift my head and speak with a clear voice
Declaring that I am not ashamed for who I am, despite your fears

I am filled with peace

When the God of Heaven and Earth looks down
And reaches out his hand to gently nudge me

I am filled with love

When I awake to find a new day and quietly pray
For all my friends and family

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012

Rage Manifest

Rage Manifest

Hello I am rage manifest
I am the blister boiling to protrusion
I am the bees nest waiting to be disturbed
I am the stock car about to turn and destroy

The killer is in all of us...

Hello I am rage manifest
I am the shank sharpened by a prisoner
I am the bullhorn in the hands of a rioter
I am the trigger pulled back by a police man

The killer is waiting to strike...

Hello I am rage manifest
I am the rude comment waiting to unfurl
I am the suspicious thought rising to the surface
I am the dish thrown and smashed against the wall

The killer is getting closer...

Hello I am rage manifest
I am the locked door to your basement
I am the bloodstain on your carpet
I am the silent scream escaping cracked lips

The killer is foaming at the mouth...

Hello I am rage manifest
I am the creaking sound in your apartment
I am the growl that echoes off your bedroom wall
I am the hungry ghost waiting to possess

The killer is inside…

Hello I am rage manifest
I am the killer inside you!

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012

Words

Words

There's words pouring from his hand into my brain
I walk with words pouring from my mouth into the cup
Of those who listen to his words pouring into their ears
The words come from a source so magnificent
When I die I will meet the words in person
Capture them in an ink well
And have an archangel tattoo them on my spiritual body
Then the words' power will be displayed on me for eternity
I will walk the streets of heaven as the words move and slither on my shining skin
I will use them as weapons to fight the enemy
These are the words that were given to me at my birth
These are the words that I now carry with me until my death
These are the words that change your reality
Welcoming you into my mind where the words are abundant and free
Always watching, the words follow me...they speak to me
When I am alone away from peering eyes
These words are nourishment for my rattled spirit
They come and go as he pleases
They come to me in my sleep, and are forgotten just as quickly
These are the words that you are now reading.

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012

Ode to Tom Weir

Ode to Tom Weir

Let me introduce to you a man by the name of Tom Weir 
He looks like a turtle
His wild googly eyes roll when he laughs
He's kinda spacey and acts strange for sure
Especially when he doubles down on his Lexapro
When he's in a good mood he talks like a cartoon character
Dresses his voice in a southern twang to get his point across
He's the boss man who just can't get any respect
A laughing stock, a whipping boy...
Sitting in the corner with his dunce cap on
The funny thing is he's brighter than his shinny head appears
You see, the people who put him down are much farther down than he
He's the assistant director....and our favorite punching bag
At a place called the Carriage House 
A place where crazy people go to take a break
From the insanity of the real world that keeps them locked down
Behind closed doors away from shame, stares, and smirks
He's a hero to all of us...his turtle head bobbing
Even though he does quite often makes mistakes
I love him like a brother...a brother I wish I had
Even when he crosses the line and makes me feel oh so bad
In the end you can count on him...
Even when he gets stressed when his neck veins tend to pop
He cares for all of us, so next time you feel like poking fun at good old Tom
Just remember this...he's one of us!
Crazy as any of us poor, dirty, mentally ill folk...
Crazy as the cow that jumped over the moon
Crazy as the last fat lady singing
Crazy as me...and in some cases...crazier than you
Crazy is as crazy does...but you know what I think?
Deep down there's a little bit of Tom Weir in all of us. 
And that's just fine by me.  :)

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012

Adam's Toasted Cheesy Bruschetta

Adam's Toasted Cheesy Bruschetta 

1 large baguette (sourdough or french)
10 Roma tomatoes
1 medium white onion 
3/4 cup fresh basil leaves chopped
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/4 cup balsamic vinaigrette
1 tbsp chopped garlic 
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cracked black pepper
2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Spray large baking sheet with pan spray. Slice baguette into crostini sized pieces on the bias. Coat baguette slices with olive oil using a brush - set aside.  Chop tomatoes into small bite sized pieces and place in large bowl. Peel and chop onion into quarters. Place onion quarters into food processor, and process until onions are in tiny pieces. Chop basil leaves into long strips. Gently mix tomatoes, onion, basil, chopped garlic, salt, and pepper together. In a separate bowl whisk olive oil and balsamic vinegar together until well blended and an emulsion is formed. Mix vinaigrette and vegetables together. Cover and let marinate for 3 hours. Place 1 tbsp of vegetable mixture on each slice of baguette and line up slices on baking sheet. Finally top each slice with a pinch of mozzarella cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes (Or until cheese is melted and bottoms of baguette slices are golden brown.) Serve and enjoy!

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012

Coffee Over Tea

Coffee Over Tea

There is tea foaming in the ocean,
as our sick go thirsty...

I've never walked in someone's elses shoes,
until mine were stolen from me.

There is a fire spreading across the desert,
as we grumble at rising pennies...

I've never beleived in miracles,
until I experienced the antithesis of one.

There are men screaming on the radio,
as we stab the backs of our heroes...

I've never seen true suffering,
until I walked through the halls of a hospital.
  
There are pills in the mouths of children,
as minds are lost in video screens...

I've never felt so unatural,
until unscrewing the cap off a bottle.

There are burnt light bulbs in the prison,
as propaganda becomes reality...

I've never felt so alone,
until the world turned its back on me.

There are men sleeping under building vents
as their minds drift into warmer dreams...

I've seen communities under the surface...
that prefer coffee over tea.

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012

The Edge of My Mind

(One of these days, I'll actually finish this poem...)

The Edge of My Mind

I jumped off the cliff and landed in death's bony hands
He rocked and cradled me until I fell asleep
I woke up with no recollection of where I had been
But a shining light was blinding me
So I reached out and plucked an apple from a tree
Took a bite, and the light shined through me
I then lay down beside a babbling brook
And began vaporizing clouds with my thoughts
A tiny sprite landed on my nose and began gnawing at it
Alarmed, I smacked at it and busted my poor nose
Out came red blood gushing like a geyser
The blood began filling up and soon flooded the valley
I struggled to keep my head above the red tide
I began sinking down, down into the crimson depths
A hand grasped my hair and hauled me aboard a ship
Upon that ship I sailed for endless days and nights across an ocean of blood
The crew were all weathered and worn sea dogs
Their howls and barking kept me up at night
So I jumped overboard and swam ashore
To a land filled with strange people
Their arms and knees were bent backwards and they moved quickly
They tied me up and took me to their sanctuary
They tried to brainwash me with infomercials
About the letter "Y" and it's magnificence
I escaped and they chased after me...hurling rocks
I ran to the edge of the world and...
I jumped off the cliff and landed in death's bony hands...

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012

Adam's Candied Ham Jerky

Adam's Candied Ham Jerky 

12 oz Sliced Ham (sliced thin in 1-3 inch pieces off a whole ham leg)
3/4 cup butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup maple syrup
6 oz Dr. Pepper soda
1/2 tsp cayenne powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cracked black pepper

Slice off pieces of pre-baked ham off of whole ham leg. On medium heat melt butter in a large skillet, add brown sugar, maple syrup, and Dr. Pepper. Stir until a caramel-like glaze is bubbling. (Glaze must be thin at first...if it is too thick add more Dr. Pepper) Add ham to skillet and coat ham with glaze.  When ham is evenly coated on both sides, crank up the burner to high, and then continue to stir ham pieces in skillet flipping them over occasionally to coat both sides. As the water in the glaze evaporates the glaze will thicken. Keep stirring faster and faster as the glaze becomes sticky. DO NOT STOP STIRRING - or else the glaze will burn. The meat will begin to turn a bright red color and will shrink in size. At this point sprinkle on the salt, pepper, and cayenne powder. Keep stirring until all of the water in the glaze has evaporated and the glaze is fully coated to the ham. Let cool for 5-10 minutes and enjoy!

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012

Dear Governer

(So one night me and my friends went to the Peace Frog and I read some of my poetry. There were a few douchebags in the crowd who thought it would be funny to make fun of me while I was reading my poetry. Thankfully they were in the other room and so I did not even hear or see them, but my friends did, and one comment these morons said after I read this poem was "we should call the cops on this guy"...and to be honest I am really flattered that one of my poems was real and dangerous enough to make people react in this way. I had never read this poem in public, and this is the first time I've posted it online, but I want to remind everyone who reads this that it is just art. I am in no way going to flip out and go "Taxi Driver" on anyone, but I think it's funny that a few ignoramuses in the crowd thought I would after reading this. They must have been republicans...lol :P )

Dear, Governor...

Mr. Governor I want to stab all the shame I’ve felt
For all the years of hiding behind the guise of normality
Straight into your cold uncaring heart
For taking away my rights and my sanity
Screw rubbing crossed fingers
I want bullets of shame to rip through your chest
And your blood to splatter over your fine lapel coat
For every bullet fired in a domestic dispute
Caused by the lack of treatment flowing through the veins
Of those you restricted from obtaining a healthy life
Of which you and your kind take sorely advantage of on a daily basis
If you only knew the pain your minions spread over the least fortunate
You’d understand my rage bubbling to the surface to explode
Mr. Governor…the time will come when you’ll see your flags
Burning in the aftermath of the people tearing down your walls.
Freedom rings louder to those who can’t hear
A lesson you failed to learn at your Ivy League school
You will feel my desperation and discontent in spades
It is the final hour Mr. governor….
When your lackey’s will turn on you, and Cairo will be brought to these shores
And the bullets you fire down on us from your vantage point in the capital building
Will be deflected and fired into the crowd of your brainwashed pawns
Soaking in spas of tea they squandered from this nation's store room
They fight their couch potato revolutions with misspelled slogans
Calling for regression into the dark ages where ignorance was valued
We will no longer stand aside and watch this masquerade go on
Your time is coming Mr. Governor…
It’s coming…
to an end.

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012

Fast Food Death

Fast Food Death

I’m headed towards a fast food death
And my toes have long ago been out of reach
I know every time I feel this self hatred
I wanna shove more food into my body till I explode
I’m headed towards a comfort food kamikaze
Slice my wrists with bacon strips
Gravy pours out and I die in a fattening mess
I wanna purge myself of this bastard shame
I’m headed towards a fast food death
Fried eggs like coins on my closed eyes
In a deep sleep buried in a chocolate casket
I wanna rise zombified and chase chicken wings down the street
I’m headed towards a Twinkie paradise
Cholesterol pills won’t even matter anymore
Doctors don’t really care, seen a thousand like me before
I wanna pill to make my gut implode
I'm headed towards a fast food death
When I walk through the store I feel eyes on my body
And the shame, I wear like cuts inflicted upon myself
I wanna commit suicide via Taco Bell
I’m headed towards a fast food death
Cutting out my tongue is the only solution

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012