Saturday, March 23, 2013

Diseased




Diseased


My Dad thinks my Mom is slowly poisoning him with arsenic 
My Mom throws toddler-esque temper tantrums
My younger sister has body image issues and a flat affect
From years of being shat upon by boys disguised as men
My older sister wears a blind fold
To her husband's drinking habits
And habituation to strike down her sons
With clenched teeth spraying out words like...

Freak! and Idiot!

My Grandpa died from liver failure
Drank and smoked himself to death
Because the World War II era didn’t have a name for
Post traumatic stress disorder
Gave it a funny little catch phrase, like shell shock
Could also be just as easily explained as a genetic brain disorder
Because my family is fucked up…my family is diseased
My family follows rules blindly that says be angels in church
But whip out those demon masks at home because we are all sinners
Sin is just an excuse for the reality of it…we are all weak
We are all weak human beings who have the potential for depression
And let’s not forget about the big scary “P” word…

Psychosis

The truth is…my family acts like starving wild dogs at holiday dinners
We foam at the mouth, biting each other for scraps of praise and approval
Scraps of validation, pride, favoritism, and acceptance…
We are beasts wandering through the wilderness of American suburbia 
We call this nurturing demand and compliance a cohabitation of love
But the truth is my Dad is a delusional workaholic
My Mom is a bipolar train wreck
My sisters are scabs on wounds that never quite heal up 
My brother-in law is a carbon copy of his father
And I…well I’m going out just like my Grandpa did…
Sipping and smoking until my liver explodes. 


Copyright Adam A. Gaile 2013

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Adam's Roasted Turkey Legs



Adam's Roasted Turkey Legs

2-3 Turkey Legs
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup yellow mustard
2 Tbsp Fresh Thyme
2-3 Tbsp Liquid Smoke
1 tsp Ground Cayenne Pepper
1 tsp Cracked Black Pepper
1 tsp salt


Pat dry the Turkey Legs. Mix brown sugar, mustard, thyme, cayenne pepper, liquid smoke, salt, and black pepper to form a paste-marinade. Marinate Turkey Legs covered in fridge for 3 hours. Preheat Oven to 350. Place turkey legs on a roasting rack over a pan for 1 hour 30 minutes until internal temperature reaches 175 degrees. Let cool 5-10 minutes, serve and enjoy.


Copyright Adam Gaile 2013

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Seafood Salad Ala` Adam



Seafood Salad Ala` Adam

1 lb Imitation crab meat (half shredded, half whole chunks)
2 Celery Stalks
4 Green Onion shoots
1 small can Water Chestnuts (chopped)
1 4 oz container Feta Cheese
3/4 cup Mayonnaise
1/4 cup Fresh Dill
5-7 Fresh Basil leaves (chopped finely)
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1 tbsp Light Corn Syrup
1/2 tsp Old Bay Seasoning
1 tsp Lemon Pepper


Separate half of imitation crab meat chunks and process half in a food processor until shredded (keep other half chunks whole). Chop celery, green onion, and water chestnuts into very small pieces. Chop dill and basil finely. Mix Mayonnaise, lemon juice, corn syrup, lemon-pepper, and Old Bay seasoning. Combine shredded crab, whole crab, celery, green onion, water chestnuts, dill, basil, and mayonnaise mixture until well blended. Lastly fold in Feta cheese and mix gently, and Voila! 


Copyright Adam Gaile 2013

Antihero




Antihero


I’m a superhero motherfucker 
I’m the chosen one you see
I know we are meant to be together
I know you have been searching for me
Cause bitch I have super powers
They’re stemming from internal rage
I can morph and disappear into a goddamn ghost
Walk through the walls and watch you undress
I’m the one the CIA is looking for
I am the key to solving the mysteries of the universe 
I am really a fallen God in disguise
Stricken with amnesia of my own omnipotence 
I’m going to open my deep black mouth and scream
I am the antihero in this comedy of life
Snapping back snitches necks till they break
And fuck it all I’m gonna snap and break
The equator in half and watch it all float away
I am Godzilla’s daddy destroying your city
The moment of dismal epiphany before the screen fades to black
I’ve been alive for eons
Waiting for my time and tomb to be unearthed 
I can teleport into the fed and stroll out with bars of gold
Stroll into bars and make females faint
Fuck all that, I can’t even get a date
I can’t fly, can’t breathe fire, no superhuman strength
Truth be told…
I’m a 10 year old trapped in an old fat body
I am nothing…
Just a leech sucking blood from society’s teats
I’d sell my soul for a McDouble and a hug
Just want to cuddle with a warm body
I am no fucking superhero
No mystery to me at all
Just another deranged damaged soul
Unable to live up to the expectations of his inner child
When I grow up I want a billion dollars
So I can burn it all. 


Copyright Adam Gaile 2013