Needs
There must be a name for these unfathomable...unnerving...passionate, and intense lustful restless feelings deep inside the very core of my inner being. I feel like I am in the throes of a burning fire surrounded by a tempest of seductive raging zeal for the very simple art of touch, affection, compassion...and the unquenchable thirst for sex. The inner twisting desire that comes from within... Here is deep screaming maddening sorrow over the lack of an unidentifiable need for human companionship...the endless search for a female spirit...body...soul...to fill the empty void in my eternal existence. To take up the empty spaces within my psyche. Instinct calling me to impale myself within those secret places that dance around the periphery of my imagination of her body...fueling the fires within my loins. Those secret images are nothing more tangible or satisfying than a delusion...the equivalent to sucking liquid paste from a feeding tube...slave in a respirator...to the full-on splendid natural existential realness of suckling that protruding mound that births mother's milk. Not to give life to the dead hollow shell that has become the very fabric of my being....but to bring life to passion and earthly cravings. I feel as if I am the last of a dying breed of men who cannot reconcile the contemptuous war that rages between his heart, mind, and animal urges...in the end...I am an animal in a cage of my own design....waiting for an escape...to release the pent up tension that grows at every waking moment that I am breathing...and walking...and drifting through this artificial digital world...and I...I the beast...I the animal within...I the desperate and fertile...I am screaming!!! Screaming....for the outside wilderness and danger. Craving the release...the realm of physical movement...soft skin...pouring sweat...the rapturous rhythm of intertwined bodies...pulsating to the music of our own heartbeats and hips. A euphoric dance that lasts for only fleeting moments to the flesh, but surges more powerfully and phantasmagorically than vast galaxies and distant stars exploding for all eternity within the entirety of the encapsulated mind. We are minds and bodies collided in a uniquely profound way. There are billions of us....men and women. The odds are stacked against me....and still I move...I strive for what the animal within me needs...what the beast craves...what the soul-man detests and forbids. I am forever locked in a wrestling match....quivering in despair...shrinking away. Oh sleep...blessed sleep...save me from this agony...splendid sweet sleep...a momentary death far favorable than this unending loneliness...this need.
Copyright Adam Gaile 2014
