Katelyn

Katelyn

You raped and stole my innocent virgin heart
Took it and the demon traitor in you devoured it
You spoke so many words of beauty and love
Made me feel as if I was the only one
Then you destroyed my body, left it bloodied, broken, and torn
I hate the fact that you led me on 
Hate the fact that you used my innocence to turn me into this
A mistrustful miserable wretch that cannot be equipped
To handle another human being split up the middle by a vagina
I feel like every woman on this planet has scorned and burned my flesh
The moment your lips parted and said “I don’t love you”
The moment my world exploded into a million fragments of glass
It took me two years Katelyn to sweep up the pieces 
And painstakingly glue each piece back together while my hands bled
Holding onto the sharpest parts that were your smile, your laugh, your voice
Some of the parts went missing along with parts of my mind….
They got sucked up into the vacuum of space…
…into a hole where my heart once was.
Now your image haunts my dreams over which I can’t stop obsessing
You were my first and I gave it all to you
You took my identity like a thief and smashed it into dust
Trampled on it in six inch stilettos that you could barely walk in
And now I am filled with hatred and mistrust
And all I wanna do is fuck everything I see
So I can get back some sort of happiness and satisfaction that you took away from me
I know it’s past time to move on…
My friends and family have watched me turn into a decrepit waste
But how can I trust when all that was so real was nothing more than lies
My tongue…the one you knew so well; is left with a bitter taste
I felt your sympathetic eyes…
But at the time I was too angry to speak
I ran away crying your name down a dark cold street
Every brown haired girl that passed me was wearing the mask of your face
All I could do is replay your words
Those steps that led me back to that day constantly retraced.
When you rained down hellfire upon me in a simple ten minute stretch
To top it all off you fucked my best friend you harlot!
You selfish bitch!
I gave you everything; roses and a teddy bear when you were sick
I sang to you when you were down, I kissed the scars on your arms
The scars that you inflicted upon yourself when you flash-backed 
To the times when your brother molested you in your sleep
I called you Zebra-girl lovingly as I kissed your wet eyelids
And promised that I would never let anyone harm you again
Why Katelyn did you throw away my love and throw away everything we had
Just so that you could be free…was I really that stifling 
Or was his body more appealing…
Either way the pain you have induced…the carnage you have caused in my life
Will never be forgotten until maybe one day I will find those missing pieces 
That you stole from me, but the truth is…
You were never my dream girl…
That wasn’t you in my dreams…
Because if you were, you would remember me…
I was the one with a heart so innocent and naive 
The one who offered it to you on a silver platter
Hoping that the demon that dwell inside you 
Would be destroyed by the love within
But in the end, you lied…it feasted…and I…
Well, a part of me died… 

Copyright Adam Gaile 2012